Patience and understanding key to supporting scam victims
If you have ever fallen for a scam, or know someone close to you that has, you’ll know that it can take a heavy emotional toll.
We may like to think that we’re too smart to be fooled, but in reality scammers are sophisticated operators who catch out people from all walks of life.
“When somebody has been scammed it’s different for everyone and there can be a whole range of emotions experienced,” says Dr. Kate Gould, a senior research fellow in clinical neuropsychology at Monash University, and an expert in scams psychology.
Initial feelings of confusion and doubt often morph into denial and disbelief as the person tries to grapple with whether the situation they’re faced with is real or not.
“It can progress to feeling shocked and scared when you realise you’ve been scammed, and then maybe feeling angry that this has happened to you,” Gould says.
As the reality sinks in, the scam victim often tends to blame themselves and feel ashamed. Equally, they might feel angry at those around them who might have been able to stop them from falling into the trap.
“It can take a while for some people to accept what has happened and be able to process and cope with it,” Gould says. All these emotions may ultimately lead to them feeling depressed and isolated.
So, what can people do to help if they find that a friend or loved one has been scammed?
“If you’re concerned that someone in your life has been scammed, it’s important to recognise that they might be having a very difficult time emotionally. They might be experiencing a real impact from the financial loss or other aspects of the crime or scam,” says Gould.
“Approaching them with great curiosity and openness, being non-judgemental and not blaming them is really important.”
Gould says the key is to recognise where the person is at in terms of their understanding and acceptance of the scam and try to offer both practical and emotional help, if they’re ready for it.
“One of the things we’ve found really powerful, particularly for feelings of shame that can be so painful, is to connect them with other scam victims and hear their stories.
“To know that you’re not alone and to realise that it wasn’t your fault - you’ve been the victim of a crime and it’s the scammer that has caused this, not you - that can go some way to alleviating these emotions.”
And if someone is reluctant to open up about their experience, Gould recommends a patient approach.
“No matter what has happened, let them know you are available for when they feel ready to share about their current experience, or ask if there is anyone else they feel comfortable talking to. Try checking in again at a later time when they may be more open.”
Sharing your story helps others to spot, avoid and report scams, and recover from the harms caused by scammers. Share your scam story using the hashtag #ShareAScamStory to help make Australia a harder target for scammers.
The government’s ScamWatch website has more information on how to support a friend or family member who has been scammed. The Westpac website also has lots of resources to help you spot scams and keep yourself secure online.